The Best of the Worst

Beer,  just as everything else in life, is a journey.  Sometimes it's a rich tapestry full of life, and flavor,  eager to get out there and 'grab the bull by the horns' (as it were).  Other times, it's a can full of formaldehyde and cat urine.   This story is about the latter.  

Regrettably, over the past few months, I have developed a taste for the cheap stuff.

You may wonder if I'm doing this to be ironic...I wonder that myself. 

 

Here's what I've found though....I'm poor, and surprisingly enough, some of this stuff isn't that bad...and some of it is, well....refer to the first paragraph.  I set out to try them all...

So here's the dregs of beertopia...the red-headed step children of this noble beverage.

I won't go into my experiences with the ones I hated...that's for another post, and honestly I'm still having PTSD flashbacks from some of them...So I'll just talk about the ones I didn't absolutely despise..

Here's my list of the best of the worst...

1. Pabst Blue Ribbon

Fittingly enough,this is where my adventure began...during a can of PBR purchased ironically with Andy at Black Bear Burritos... Treasured by hipsters for the trendy can-design and the self-loathing grimace it creates upon every swig, it's truly the beer that typifies this journey...

As far as flavor goes, there's really not much to dislike...there's not much to like either...really it just tastes like can-flavored water unremarkable in every way...

2. Iron City

One of the local boys...this one's actually brewed right up the road in Steeler country....Surprisingly, this one's not that bad.  It's actually not that bad at all.  It's smooth, easy to drink, minimal after-taste.  A decent domestic lager, and it comes in an aluminum bottle. Yes, you read that correctly...it's a bottle, made out of aluminum, not a can....Pretty cool if you ask me....I could drink this....

3. Stoney's

Another semi-local favorite...this one's also brewed in Pittsburgh by Jones Brewing Company who are celebrating their 100th anniversary this year.  I can see why they've stayed around this long.. I actually really enjoyed this one...It caught me off guard after I paid my $2 for a bottle at 123 Pleasant St.  It's got a creamy texture to it...not unlike Sam Adams Brown Ale (see biscuits).

4. Rolling Rock

Out of the glass-lined vats of Old Latrobe... "33".....I could wax poetic about Rolling Rock for ages...Truth is...it's been my old stand-by since I started drinking beer.  I love Rolling Rock..I always will, but I don't love what it's become.  A shadow of it's former self, it's no longer independently owned, but was purchased some time ago by A.B. (the great beer satan), who promptly closed the original Latrobe, PA factory...so it's no longer from the "glass lined vats of latrobe"  more like the shit-lined septic tanks of New Jersey...which is where they moved production to...

I actually almost shed a tear when this happened...and I boycotted it for a while, but I came crawling back...to my surprise it doesn't taste different, still that same crisp, bitterness that it always had..  

5. Black Label

This is another one I've had a soft spot for, for a while...That distinctive bright-red can you'll see littered all over the place at 123...for good reason.  A can of this costs $1...it's the cheapest of the cheap, but it's actually somewhat palatable...assuming you get past the can flavor..which is in abundance.  According to the picture bottles are available, somewhere...i've never seen them...

I suppose I should mention that, with the exception of Rolling Rock, none of these (with the exception of Iron City now...possibly) will ever be seen in my refrigerator...These are strictly "going out" beers...for when you don't want to pay $5/drink at your local establishment.  If you're looking for a cheap night with minimal gastrointestinal distress...I'd recommend checking some of these out...